Without fail, the Friday after Thanksgiving, many of our neighbors are outside adorning their homes and yards with Holiday cheer. One home, notorious for Christmas lights that cover nearly every square inch of the property, was actually painted green with a red tile roof. They put up their lights a week before Thanksgiving but politely refrained from turning them on until Friday.
"I only put up a few things this year," one friend said apologetically. "I'm homeschooling and that's a priority right now. I just don't have time." Don't feel bad! A friend once chastised me for my lack of homemaking sensibility when she saw a Thanksgiving wreath still on the door after the Friday deadline. You're not a grinch if you replace some of your Christmas deco with something that's eternal and doesn't make your electric bill any higher.
My parents never put up Christmas lights and only pulled out the fake tree and train set from the attic on Christmas eve. But I do remember all the work we did to buy candy and fruit to assemble treat bags for the children in the church. For many of those kids from the neighborhood, that bulging paper bag would be one of the few gifts they received. We were also busy at church with the Christmas program taking center stage. Then we caroled in the below freezing temps, visiting widows who cracked the door open just a bit to request a favorite song. Even New Year's Eve was spent holding hands with church family singing "Glory be to the Father," and ringing the church bell to our hearts' content. If Dad had been hanging up lights, and Mom had been buying an updated wreath for the door, we wouldn't have had time or energy to carol. I know it.
"Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." James 1:27. God sees our Spirit driven efforts to love others during this wonderful season, and in his sight, our lives are adorned with brilliant, glorious Christmas deco that can stay up all year long.
Running outside, hopping on my trusty tricycle, looking for a new adventure.
12/02/2010
End of Innocence: A six year old defines abortion
"Abortion and divorce are really bad," the six year old said to his older sister. They were role playing a radio interview in the back seat of the car. He continued, "A bad guy will break into a house and make a mommy drink poison. Then the poison kills the baby inside her." The show's host, an 8 yr. old girl, responded, "No. It's only if the mom wants it to happen." The bane of any radio station, utter silence, filled the imaginary air waves. A heavy grief too deep for tears filled the soul of their only listener, a mom, who wanted to put the lid back on Pandora's box.
11/25/2010
On Our Way to Uruguay
My husband and I took a survey trip to Uruguay a few years ago. After the first week, we both decided that if we were ever needed, we would love to serve there. The people we met at the church in Rivera loved to laugh and sing. Their worship service was amazing! Now we are preparing to leave next spring.
The photo shows two Uruguayan children on their way to school. They all wear the national school uniform of white smocks with large ties. The country's literacy rate is higher than that of any other South American country, so those children are able to read and understand the Scripture's wonderful words of life if a messenger is willing and if the Spirit moves.
8/28/2010
Another Homeschooling Fan
I posted that people often look for the homeschool bashers. I keep running into the nice people, though. The carpet installers had to walk in and out of our house past our homeschooling table. The kids had a hard time concentrating, but it made the day interesting. Before he left, one of the men commented, "I think it's great that you're homeschooling. I would do it, too, if I had enough patience." I didn't correct him, but anyone who homeschools realizes how terribly impatient and unqualified he/she is on day two. So far, no homeschool bashers have been brave enough to frown at me or say anything.
Don't turn Obama into a Ken Doll
I'm so angered when politicians offer news bytes that are so carefully worded that they mean nothing at all. The politicians we elect to represent our views are marketed until they are smiley, plastic Ken and Barbie dolls waving at the camera. Democracy is about bringing different perspectives and views to Washington, not cleaning up all public commentary until it's meaningless.
Sarah Palin speaks all the time without following the rules, and I love it. For the first time, a female governor is representing what I believe on the national stage. I loved her pro-life speech and the photo with her speaking while holding her newest child. She may not say it "right," and she may "turn off potential voters," but that's not the point. She's not an pretty action figure on the toy shelf. She's representing me.
So often the media tried to redefine her. Any ridicule by the media of her clothes, accent, or intelligence, made so much static that the reasonable arguments she was making on my behalf were not communicated clearly to the general public. Thus my own free speech was severely limited. But I do wish she would return to politics and speak for me again.
Sarah Palin speaks all the time without following the rules, and I love it. For the first time, a female governor is representing what I believe on the national stage. I loved her pro-life speech and the photo with her speaking while holding her newest child. She may not say it "right," and she may "turn off potential voters," but that's not the point. She's not an pretty action figure on the toy shelf. She's representing me.
So often the media tried to redefine her. Any ridicule by the media of her clothes, accent, or intelligence, made so much static that the reasonable arguments she was making on my behalf were not communicated clearly to the general public. Thus my own free speech was severely limited. But I do wish she would return to politics and speak for me again.
7/29/2010
A Perfect Gift
"Got Kids?" She asked me. "Yes, I've got kids. Four of them." I responded. The friendly question interrupted our search for sheets that matched iron man comforters. The woman and her husband were seeking expert advice on a toy they were considering as a gift for a 10 year old nephew.
I surveyed the bobbing heads clustered around me and pointed out my 10 year Joshua as the expert. They both asked several questions, and I smiled at their intensity: "Is this a cool toy?" "Would you want this as a gift?" "Do you have something like this already?" Joshua was agreeable and said the robot growing lab kit looked like a fun toy. The brightness in his blue eyes said, "I wonder if they're going to give this to me." Can you imagine waving a strawberry ice cream cone in front of a kid, asking him if it's his favorite flavor, only to walk away and give it to someone else? Thankfully, Joshua was old enough to keep his wits about him.
Isn't it fun to watch a child open the perfect gift and hear him squeal with delight? In the movie Radio, the man whose mind is trapped in perpetual childhood dances for joy each time he receives a radio as a gift. One of my children is happiest when she adds a new stuffed dog to her collection. Each dog gets a name and is told how he is related to the others. My sons are thrilled with anything they can throw, swing or hit. Life is full of simple pleasures.
What makes me happy to receive? The gifts from my children make me dance inside: a song she plays on the piano, a super big hug, a colored picture, droopy wild flowers, a lost tooth with a note to the tooth fairy. Those are just a few of my favorite things.
I surveyed the bobbing heads clustered around me and pointed out my 10 year Joshua as the expert. They both asked several questions, and I smiled at their intensity: "Is this a cool toy?" "Would you want this as a gift?" "Do you have something like this already?" Joshua was agreeable and said the robot growing lab kit looked like a fun toy. The brightness in his blue eyes said, "I wonder if they're going to give this to me." Can you imagine waving a strawberry ice cream cone in front of a kid, asking him if it's his favorite flavor, only to walk away and give it to someone else? Thankfully, Joshua was old enough to keep his wits about him.
Isn't it fun to watch a child open the perfect gift and hear him squeal with delight? In the movie Radio, the man whose mind is trapped in perpetual childhood dances for joy each time he receives a radio as a gift. One of my children is happiest when she adds a new stuffed dog to her collection. Each dog gets a name and is told how he is related to the others. My sons are thrilled with anything they can throw, swing or hit. Life is full of simple pleasures.
What makes me happy to receive? The gifts from my children make me dance inside: a song she plays on the piano, a super big hug, a colored picture, droopy wild flowers, a lost tooth with a note to the tooth fairy. Those are just a few of my favorite things.
7/08/2010
Homeschooling and SAHM don't always get a bad rap
People don't frown at my little flock of kids in the grocery store. Usually they smile. Like yesterday. A man sitting in a motorized shopping cart with a bandage over his face watched and listened to the noisy communications of four kids tossing items on the conveyer belt, bagging, asking for candy, and pressing the button to move the groceries along. It was happy, productive chatter, and they seemed excited even though they have done this once a week, every week, for their entire little lives.
The commotion reminded the gentleman of visits from his five grandchildren. He said he likes the noise, but only for a few days. And I could see from his smile that my noisy, bumpy kids amused him as he simultaneously anticipated and dreaded the next big visit.
Sometimes articles and blogs have a defensive tone. Do I live in a pretty bubble where people are generally positive about mothering and homeschooling? It must be the conservative, California valley. Most people I meet seem to envy me and wish they could homeschool, too. On Tuesday, the neurologist who met with Isaiah regarding his brain injury said he was pleased that I was homeschooling so that I could monitor his academic progress and behavior. That was clearly a positive comment from an Oakland professional.
I don't think there is any need to be so defensive by looking for and publishing negative comments people make. Possibly, those who have family members that ridicule them for their parenting choices are super sensitive and see more people scowling than I do. And possibly, cities like Berkely have more defined battle lines. But why do bloggers have to be on the defensive and make it look like a war?
I want to read more stories about how our country is beginning to embrace and even highly regard the choice many mothers are making to stay home during the toddler years and the choice parents make to homeschool.
The commotion reminded the gentleman of visits from his five grandchildren. He said he likes the noise, but only for a few days. And I could see from his smile that my noisy, bumpy kids amused him as he simultaneously anticipated and dreaded the next big visit.
Sometimes articles and blogs have a defensive tone. Do I live in a pretty bubble where people are generally positive about mothering and homeschooling? It must be the conservative, California valley. Most people I meet seem to envy me and wish they could homeschool, too. On Tuesday, the neurologist who met with Isaiah regarding his brain injury said he was pleased that I was homeschooling so that I could monitor his academic progress and behavior. That was clearly a positive comment from an Oakland professional.
I don't think there is any need to be so defensive by looking for and publishing negative comments people make. Possibly, those who have family members that ridicule them for their parenting choices are super sensitive and see more people scowling than I do. And possibly, cities like Berkely have more defined battle lines. But why do bloggers have to be on the defensive and make it look like a war?
I want to read more stories about how our country is beginning to embrace and even highly regard the choice many mothers are making to stay home during the toddler years and the choice parents make to homeschool.
6/24/2010
Don't Iron Those Shirts!
If you leave shirts in the dryer, and they're wrinkled, throw a wet towel in with them and run the dryer on high for about 10 minutes. Then hang 'em up or fold 'em! I learned a lot from a Mom who didn't like wrinkles OR excess ironing work.
Giving up on Friendship
I've given up on friendship. It's too dramatic, selfish, petty. I wish I had figured this out sooner.
Many of the major tear sopped disappointments in my life have centered around relationships that haven't satisfied me because the other person in the relationship stops paying attention to me. She probably doesn't even need a friendship with me anyways so why do I go to so much trouble doing nice things for her? Sometimes it has been a deeper wound like when I've gone through a major crisis alone. But the worst is when a "friend" is upset because I forgot to be kind, and then I'm the thankless, ungrateful snob. I like keeping track of the score in a basketball game, but not in a relationship. It's too complicated. That's why I'm not going to be friends with anyone anymore. Not even my husband.
It's time to find a new word. I can't find anything in the Bible about friendships the way most of us think about them. The search for a friendship that is mutually beneficial 100% of the time is unrealistic. Every relationship is unbalanced as far as the give and take quotient. Last week someone told me she was deeply offended because someone wasn't returning a favor. She had extended a couple of generous invitations but the other person hadn't responded with equally friendly gestures. It sounded too much like the disappointments I have experienced.
But there's a way to end that kind of disappointment. "A friend loves at all times," "greater love has no man than this: that he lay down his life for a friend," and "love does not seek its own." Love isn't selfish or proud, either, and it doesn't keep a record of wrongs. Forget "friendship." I'm going to be satisfied with loving others without expecting anything in return. I've tried this for about a year without realizing what I was doing and have found it deeply satisfying. It is truly more blessed to give than to receive. When Jesus looked at Peter after being betrayed, I wonder what was in His eyes. Whatever it was made Peter weep. I think it was the kind of love I want to give people who aren't so good at returning favors. If Jesus had been Peter's "friend," as defined by most people I know, he would have glared with resentment and hurt. I wonder if I can love someone who betrays me. I'll have to work on preparing myself for the inevitable.
As far as the receiving part goes, anything that someone does for me - like remember my birthday or say "Hi" - goes into the "deeply undeserved box," and I will not be keeping track of who does what. So if you remember my bday on facebook, I may not return the favor. It's not because I don't love you. I'm actually committed to doing that even better. It's because I've given up on keeping records. It's bad for my health.
I don't want to sound like I'm trying to climb out of a self pity ditch. I really do feel loved. John described himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved." He realized his deep debt to Jesus. He knew that he could not even describe himself as a good friend because Jesus' love for him was so much greater. I am the woman whom Jesus loves, whom Mark loves, whom so many others love. I can't begin to repay the debt, so I will spend each day loving others without thinking about the score. I'll keep calling her to see how she's doing - even if she never initiates calls to me - that doesn't matter. I'll invite them over again - even if they never invite us to their home - that's not an issue. I'll be so busy loving that I won't have time to keep track of favors owed or which person is top on the list to get my attention (besides my dear husband and children).
I'm calling a time out and erasing the scoreboard. No more friendships. Just selfless, endless love. It's hard, but it's deeply satisfying. May God help me.
Many of the major tear sopped disappointments in my life have centered around relationships that haven't satisfied me because the other person in the relationship stops paying attention to me. She probably doesn't even need a friendship with me anyways so why do I go to so much trouble doing nice things for her? Sometimes it has been a deeper wound like when I've gone through a major crisis alone. But the worst is when a "friend" is upset because I forgot to be kind, and then I'm the thankless, ungrateful snob. I like keeping track of the score in a basketball game, but not in a relationship. It's too complicated. That's why I'm not going to be friends with anyone anymore. Not even my husband.
It's time to find a new word. I can't find anything in the Bible about friendships the way most of us think about them. The search for a friendship that is mutually beneficial 100% of the time is unrealistic. Every relationship is unbalanced as far as the give and take quotient. Last week someone told me she was deeply offended because someone wasn't returning a favor. She had extended a couple of generous invitations but the other person hadn't responded with equally friendly gestures. It sounded too much like the disappointments I have experienced.
But there's a way to end that kind of disappointment. "A friend loves at all times," "greater love has no man than this: that he lay down his life for a friend," and "love does not seek its own." Love isn't selfish or proud, either, and it doesn't keep a record of wrongs. Forget "friendship." I'm going to be satisfied with loving others without expecting anything in return. I've tried this for about a year without realizing what I was doing and have found it deeply satisfying. It is truly more blessed to give than to receive. When Jesus looked at Peter after being betrayed, I wonder what was in His eyes. Whatever it was made Peter weep. I think it was the kind of love I want to give people who aren't so good at returning favors. If Jesus had been Peter's "friend," as defined by most people I know, he would have glared with resentment and hurt. I wonder if I can love someone who betrays me. I'll have to work on preparing myself for the inevitable.
As far as the receiving part goes, anything that someone does for me - like remember my birthday or say "Hi" - goes into the "deeply undeserved box," and I will not be keeping track of who does what. So if you remember my bday on facebook, I may not return the favor. It's not because I don't love you. I'm actually committed to doing that even better. It's because I've given up on keeping records. It's bad for my health.
I don't want to sound like I'm trying to climb out of a self pity ditch. I really do feel loved. John described himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved." He realized his deep debt to Jesus. He knew that he could not even describe himself as a good friend because Jesus' love for him was so much greater. I am the woman whom Jesus loves, whom Mark loves, whom so many others love. I can't begin to repay the debt, so I will spend each day loving others without thinking about the score. I'll keep calling her to see how she's doing - even if she never initiates calls to me - that doesn't matter. I'll invite them over again - even if they never invite us to their home - that's not an issue. I'll be so busy loving that I won't have time to keep track of favors owed or which person is top on the list to get my attention (besides my dear husband and children).
I'm calling a time out and erasing the scoreboard. No more friendships. Just selfless, endless love. It's hard, but it's deeply satisfying. May God help me.
4/27/2010
Your kids are really good.
What I think the check out lady meant to say was, "I'm so glad they didn't bump into any of the crystal glasses." I was in Macy's today to buy a gift from a wedding registry and brought my 6 and 8 year old with me. They weren't exceptionally good in my opinion, but they were their usually agreeable selves. I had expected nothing less than a pleasant trip through the place settings in Macy's and a trip up and down the escalator as a reward. I love my shopping buddies.
Around the block
My first great expedition beyond my 20 squ ft side yard was around the block. Traveling by bike to the other side of the small residential block was like going to the other side of the world. As the oldest child in the family, the "firsts" were especially daunting. I've been on a few adventures since then, and I am certain that the next one is just around the corner.
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